The Scars We Share
by caitie29
Summary: And so I became your pillar of strength in this dark place. A pillar of flesh and bone. All it cost me was my sanity and my soul, and I will never falter. UNDER CONSTRUCTION
1. Initium

**Untitled**

Prologue

"Sometimes the things we dream about the most are the things our heart fears most…"

_Italics are thoughts'_

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It was raining. I can hear people yelling and calling for help, but I didn't know why. I just felt numb from the icy rain pelting my broken and worn body. There was also a slight pain I could not place; shifting my eye to the right I could see blood pooling around me, but wait is that my blood. _'No, that can't be right.'_, trying to move and finding my body was not responding I began to panic then a weightlessness overcame me. Finally, being able to stand I looked around me and saw myself covered in blood lying in the middle of the street; lifeless…

Shooting up in bed and covered in sweat I began to tremble. Searching my surroundings I found cream walls covered in shadow, but with only a few hints of moonlight here and there. Relaxing and shaking myself I found that I was home in, Seireitei, the Soul Society. Sighing while lying back down I tried to fall back into a peaceful slumber which proved fruitless. It seems I would have to go back to the fourth division tomorrow to get some sleeping medication.

These nightmares were becoming more agitating and making me more exhausted than I would have liked. Staying awake for at least an hour trying to sleep again my eyes finally began to get heavy, it was about time. As sleep engulfed me I prayed for my dreams to be of happy times and not of death and destruction like they usually were.

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I hope you enjoyed the story so far even if it is only the beginning. I have not decided on a title yet and I would like some suggestions if you have any for the naming of this story. I am also open to any plot ideas as well.


	2. Coitus

**Coitus**

Chapter 1

"To dare to live alone is the rarest courage; since there are many who had rather meet their bitterest enemy in the field, than their own hearts in their closet."

'_Italics are thoughts' or flashbacks_

Looking in a mirror I studied my appearance and only saw a young woman with straight black hair down to my shoulders with some bangs covering my right eye. My eyes I suppose are my best feature even if they are a stormy gray. I hated how pale I was though, but no matter how hard I tried I could never tan; I would only burn to a bright red. My uniform was fairly normal I had on the regular top for a soul reaper, but mine was sleeveless like how most of the ninth division wore theirs. I had the normal black bottoms with a red sash tied around my waist that had extra hanging down to my knee. My zanpaktou was clipped onto my sash, and it had a black scabbard with a black and gray hilt with a little loop on the top. The only the thing I added to my zanpaktou to add personality would be the little crimson beads attached to a string that were hanging from the loop. I also added fingerless, elbow high midnight black gloves to my uniform.

Stepping out of my little room I began to make my way to see my lieutenant, Hisagi Shuhei, of the ninth squad which was captainless for the time being so he was acting captain for now. He was also the very man I have come to admire because of his strength on the battlefield and because I had a slight, just a slight, attraction for him. I still remember the day I first met him.

_I had been just put into the ninth squad and I got lost trying to get back to barracks, which is impossible by the way with this maze from hell. I mean what was the point of half these routes if they ended in dead ends and if the soul reapers get lost or it could just be me and my bad sense of direction. Finally, just giving up I sat down by the wall and zoned out until I fell asleep. _

"_Hey wake up. You can't sleep here."_

'_A voice, but whose voice I've never heard it before'. Cracking my open into a slit I saw a face with three scars over one of his eyes with a tattoo of the number sixty-nine and a blue strip tattoo over his nose. _

'_Well, my dreams are finally getting better I guess.'_

"_Your awake it's about time. What are you doing sleeping out here?"_

_Opening my eyes I realized it wasn't a dream, but reality. Blinking at the devilishly, handsome man I asked stupidly, "Who are you?"_

"_I'm Lieutenant Hisagi Shuhei, and you are?"_

"_Oh.", was my awesome and intelligent answer. When he kept staring at me I was about to ask what he was looking at when I it dawned on me that he asked me a question. _

"_I am Otonash, Saya the third seat of the ninth division." Offering me a hand which I took gladly, he questioned me once again, "What are you doing sleeping out here?"_

_Looking at him as if the answer was obvious I said, "I got lost in the maze from hell, so I sat down to take a break and must have fallen asleep."_

_He looked at me as if I was an idiot, which I most certainly was. _

"_Well it can't be helped. I'll take you back to the barracks, and next time when you go walking around bring a map with you." glaring at his back I grumbled, "I wouldn't need a map if this place wasn't ridiculously confusing."_

Now that I thought about that meeting it could have been better, but whatever. Arriving at my destination I knocked on the door to Hisagi's office door. I heard a, "Come in" from the other side. Stepping in I saw my lieutenant practically buried in paperwork.

"What do you need Otonashi?"

"Um… I was wondering if you had any assignments you need me to do." Throwing his gaze from his paperwork to me he replied, "Not as of right now, I'll send someone for you if I need you." I could feel a small tint of a blush covering my cheeks. Him just looking at me made me blush like an idiot. Great. Ignoring my blushing face I inquired, "Do you need help with filling out all that work? I mean it would just go faster if someone helped out a little."

He studied me to see if I was up to the task of signing papers. With an approving nod Hisagi handed me a stack of papers. I grabbed the papers and sat down at the other brown desk, and began to work. Sneaking a peek over at him I could see how tired he had become. Feeling bad I asked, "Would you like to go get tea or something later with me?" Glancing over in my direction he gave me a slight smile and replied, "Yeah I think a cup of tea later will be good." Giving a slightly approving smile I went back to my work.

A Couple Hours Later…

Stretching my arms above head and hearing my spine crack a little I relaxed. Turning my body to Hisagi I said, "You ready to go?" Walking over to the door he tilted his head back at me and replied, "Let's go."

It was quiet between us on our way to the teashop. To me it was an awkward, kind of quiet and I started to wonder if he felt the same. Peeking at his face it didn't seem he felt awkward at all. Well it couldn't get worse I suppose until I heard,

"Saya!" now what, turning around to see who was yelling my name like a damn idiot I found, of course, Renji and Rangiku. Well damn. Giving them an annoyed look and demanded, "What do the two of you want." Rangiku gave a look and said in a sing song kind of voice, "When did you and Hisagi start going out?" My face turned just as red and bright as Renji's hair; taking a look at Hisagi I was happy to find him to have a small almost unnoticeable blush on his face as well. Looking back at Rangiku's and Renji's cheeky faces I realized how much I wanted to punch them.

"We are not going out. We are just simply going to go have some tea." I explained, but they weren't having any of that. "Isn't that what two people do when they are on a date?" Renji just had to say that, didn't he? I know why they were doing this. These two idiots that I call friends knew of my tiny crush on my lieutenant. So being the good friends they are they always try to embarrass me in front of my crush.

"No, friends can go get tea together too you know."

"Well what do you think Shuhei?" Damn you Rangiku. Turning my head to look at Hisagi he simply said, "It's just as Saya said." Wow, that was blunt. It felt like my heart just got punched, but I hadn't expected anything else. If I knew anything about romance which I most certainly did because I liked reading romance novels from the human world, I knew he didn't like me.

"Do you two want to join us?" I was hoping it would just be Hisagi and I, but if he wanted to them to come then I won't complain.

"I've got nothing better to do."

"Neither do I so I'll come along."

I know for a matter of fact that Rangiku was lying, because she always ditched her captain while leaving him with her work. Renji on the other hand was most likely telling the truth.

"Well let's get going."

I swear if Renji or Rangiku said one more word about Hisagi and I on a date I'm going to deck both of them. I realize now what a bad idea it was to invite them along was. Sipping my tea quietly and listening to the quiet chatter of the other customers I was able to block The Idiot Duo's stupid questions out. Unfortunately they started to direct them at Shuhei.

Suddenly a Hell Butterfly was in front of my face; putting my tea and letting my palm face upward the butterfly landed. The message said I was to go to the human world and deal with some Hollows. This should be easy. Standing I said,

"Excuse me, but it seems I have to depart for a mission to the human world." About to leave Rangiku shouted, "Wait, if you see Orihime, Ichigo, and the others tell them I said Hi. Also will you buy me some make-up while you're there I'll repay when you get back." Sighing in exasperation I nodded my head and flash stepped to get my things and leave for my mission.

I hope you're enjoying the story so far. I will try to update as much as possible, but it also depends on the amount of reviews I get too.


	3. Metuo

**Metuo**

Chapter 2

"My mask is tainted, poorly painted, cracked, stained, and horribly maintained."

'_Italics are thoughts' or flashbacks_

Well this is going worse than I thought it would. The Hollow was a real bitch to kill, oh do you want to know why, that's because it just wouldn't die, and now that I think about it the damn thing is just as bad as Captain Zaraki of squad eleven.

Holding my zanpaktou and looking at the skeletal mask I saw two demon like yellow eyes staring back at me with a black body and a green tuff of fur on its neck and both front arms; oh yes did I mention it had blood on tis claws, which by the way is mine, so you can tell just from that how wonderful this was going.

"Hahaha, pathetic Soul Reaper, you are no match for me!" That pissed me off, because it thought I was weak but looking at the large gash on my arm with blood dripping to the ground I suppose I did look pathetic. I was thinking about releasing my zanpaktou but decided against it. To tell the truth I am afraid of my zanpaktou as silly as it may sound.

The Hollow brought its claw down to try and finish me off, but at the last second I flash stepped away. Looking at my katana I started to get frustrated with myself; this was supposed to be an easy mission, but because of my fear of my power, something which I was so fearful of that I couldn't even summon up the courage to use that power.

How weak.

I wonder if there has ever been another with this unshakeable dread of the power they hold. When I think back I never see anyone hold their sword and be terrified of it. Isn't ones zanpaktou supposed to reflect what you soul is truly like and what kind of person you were, and if so I hoped I wasn't like mine. The soul which resided in my sword was too bloodthirsty and cruel for me, but it is also a part of me as well.

Returning my concentration back to the task at hand I dodged another gruesome claw aimed to shred me to pieces. Flash stepping above the enormous Hollows head I brought my sword down upon it. Bringing its black arm to block my sword and having it sliced off; I landed on the ground as the Hollow gave a loud screech and in its desperate rage to kill me gave me the opening I had been waiting for. Stabbing the beast in the mask and putting my foot on the surface of the mask I pushed off while pulling my sword out and landing on my feet, staggering.

I had lost a lot of blood and needed to seek medical attention, quickly. My eyes were getting bleary. Perfect. Exactly what I need in this situation. Sheathing my katana I started off towards Urahara's shop, yay I get to see mister hat-and-clogs. That was sarcasm by the way, it's not like I don't like Kisuke as friend or whatever it's just his damn laid-back attitude when it comes to serious situations.

Seeing the shop in all its wooden glory and well that's it I suppose; the shop didn't really stand out. Sliding the shoji door open I came to see Kisuke drinking tea. He looked at me then said in a tone that was to cheery for me, "Why hello, it's been so long since you came to visit."

"I didn't come to visit I came because I'm not exactly in the best shape."

"Hm, yes does in fact seem you are injured." Well glad he could figure out that much.

"So do you think you can help me out?"

"Yeah head to one of the back rooms, and I'll get Ururu to bandage your arm."

Heading to a room I went in and sat down on the tatami mat. My stormy eyes landed on the door when I saw Ururu come in with bandages and medicine for my wound. While wrapping my arm like a present wrapped in white she softly said, "You should get some sleep." Focusing on her I gave a tired nod and laid down to rest when she padded out of the room.

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Thank you for reading and please reveiw!


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